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I know, it sounds so silly, I have actually been whining for three days now because I can’t make up my mind which blog to keep – this one (jeaninasantiago.com) or sarimanok.se.

I like the lay-out of Sarimanok better. There I write factual notes about culture and travel. The lay-out is in easy on the eyes and easy to scroll down and find notes. But I cannot do more advanced lay-out with videos or quotes or photo gallery. It’s an old theme called Divi.

Jeaninasantiago.com is more playful, but also confusing when it comes to lay-out. I used the latest and most popular word press theme, Extra. I like the possibility of of adding videos, audios, etcetera.

I really don’t know what to.

And to monetize one of the blogs? I wish I could, but I don’t know how to. And I am scared of the spams I keep getting from people urging me to monetize. I am not so trusting. Besides, my employer might not like a money-making blogger on the sideline for a journalist.

So I felt paralyzed, ergo couldn’t write in any of the blogs.

Heck, I am still confused what to do. I just wish I had more readers. My very first blog, jeaninasnotebook.blogspot.com had 1000 readers per day before I gave up, stressed out. I wish I never gave up, but just kept on blogging. Now it’s so hard to keep up the same number of followers, if ever I get even five people to read it per day.

As a journalist, my articles get read at least by a thousand readers, at the most 15 000 – on the web. But our newspaper reaches around 37000 readers in Sigtuna alone. There are even readers from Knivsta och Uppsala. As yes, my articles end up in the bigger mother newspaper Upsala Nya Tidning, too. So actually, I am read quite a lot – as a journalist.

In my FB-work profile I have around 1300 friends, and in my private FB I have 1400 friends. My Instagram account has over 700 followers. So I am okay. And yet – I want more.

I want to be heard. More. I want to take more place. Is that so bad?